8th Grade

I finished the 2nd of 4 all-8th grade visits today. This time I went to al the Science classes. I talked about finishing up the 2nd quarter in a strong way. The quarter’s grades are averaged with 1st quarter to give a semester grade, and that latter grade is what is included on the academic transcript. I also talked about how 8th grade is really the beginning of high school, in the sense that work habits, attitudes toward school, and other factors often get set for the next 4 years while in 8th grade. High school is already starting, in other words. I encouraged them all to tour not just their own high school in their neighborhood, but a second one, to give them some perspective.

I spent most of my time discussing what in past years are the distractions and events that can derail 8th graders.

These often occur in outside-school activities, such as parties. They include usage of alcohol, drugs, tobacco, and sexual activities, and also other self-harming behaviors, bullying and fights. While there are some 8th graders already active in these areas, many are not. The idea is to think about how one feels about each of these areas, and to be prepared to answer when confronted with a decision involving one (e.g., “Want to try this?”, etc.). I also said that because these are generally unsafe activities, people may want to help their friends if they see them engaging in them. This can cause some turmoil, because students often don’t want to be seen as “snitching” on their friends. Despite my having spent most of the past 3 years trying to distinguish between reporting for fear of a friend’s safety, and actively trying to get someone in trouble, there is still a code at work which makes it difficult for young people to do the right thing.

So, I offered 4 ways to report:

1. Direct—the student comes to see me 1-on-1, tells me what’s going on, and solicits my help in trying to take care of his friend, or himself.
2. “What if…? game”—The student wants to talk with me 1-on-1, but isn’t sure she’s ready to divulge the identity of the person she’s concerned about. So, she plays this game, in which she asks, “Mr. Bilides, what if you had a friend who was…?” I answer this hypothetical question, and then that is either sufficient for the student, and she leaves to work on it herself, or she reveals more information to help solve the problem with a specific problem.”
3. Group intervention—The student doesn’t want to come to me alone, but does want to talk with me, so he gathers up 1 or more friends to come with him, and we discuss it together. Often, the other friends have the same concern about the targeted student. Out of this approach can come an intervention, in which the concerning student comes to my office and meets with the group. This has been powerful, especially if the friends has been thinking that no one cares.
4. Anonymous—the student, for whatever reason, doesn’t want to talk with me or reveal her name. Instead she write a note to me describing her concern and her friend’s name, hoping something will happen. I have received such a note regarding a student who was talking about suicide. thanks to that student’s anonymous friend, I was able to speak with the student, and get some help, and follow-up.,/li>

The next all-8th grade talks will occur near the end of 3rd quarter and deal with high school graduation requirements.